But not everybody is naturally assertive; even if they're loud.
Saying what you want or what you
think, when you're around a lot of people can be really difficult!
Okay well, we've got 4 quick tips on how to be more assertive
in every aspect of your life ( at school, at work or in a nerve-racking situation)
Are you ready?
- When you find yourself stuck in uncomfortable position, ask yourself this 'What are the most important things to me in this situation? What do I absolutely refuse to compromise?' your boundaries should include something like 'My health' or 'My grades'.
Once you know what your priorities are, it will be easier to fight for them.
Be Simple, Honest and Direct!
- Don't be passive-aggressive or coy, it's annoying! if a waiter brings you salad and you ordered a cheese burger, Don't wait till the end of the meal to under-tip, Have him send it back, If you're honest and direct things are more likely to work out in your favor, at very least you've done yourself a favor by making your needs known.
Fake it till you make it!
Hey. here is a secret, if you act assertive, you will start feeling assertive. So.. how to know How to do that? Well, use your Body-language and your Voice to make your presence known, Practice good posture and speak in an authoritative volume. eg. 'please, don't touch anything on my desk'
- take a good standing posture shoulders back and chin up. maintain eye contact.
(If you're nervous about maintaining eye contact look at someone's nose or forehead! you 'll seem more engaged and in control. )
- Speak up! Seriously, I can't even hear you right now!
Use "I" statements instead of "you" statements!
This way, you can express what you want, without being accusatory!
What follow is the wrong way to tell your roommate to do the dishes
" You never do the dishes!"
Here is the right way
"I feel like I am doing more than my fair share of the dishes lately, I am very tired when I come home, Could you help me out?"
Alright! now you are ready to be assertive.
- Figure out your priorities
- Be straightforward
- Posture and Eye contact
- Use "I" statements
Now you are ready to tell that waiter that you ordered a cheese-burger.
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